THE GARDEN of Waiting.

The tranquil and radiant place before the Heavenly Gates. A place from which souls return from time to time, when death brings them into it, and they are then told that it is not the moment, and they can go home again.

等待花园。

它位于天堂之门前，这里安宁寂静，散发着耀眼荣光，时而会有被死亡引领而至的灵魂回归此处，随后得知时机未到，可以再次返回尘世。

In the distance, beneath the shining cobalt sky, I saw the Newly Dead greet the Older Dead. Gathering after gathering. I saw the embraces, heard the exclamations. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the dizzyingly high walls of Heaven, and Heaven's gates. This time I saw the angels, less solid than all the rest, chorus after chorus, moving through the skies, unbound and dipping down at will into the little crowds of mortals crossing the bridge. Shifting between visibility and invisibility, the angels moved, watched, drifted upwards to fade into the inexhaustible blue of the sky.

我看到远处晴朗明亮的深蓝色天空之下，较早离世的往者们正在迎接新来的灵魂，欢聚时刻不断重复，它们相互拥抱，发出感叹。透过眼角余光，我看见天堂大门和令人眩晕的天堂高墙。就在此时，我见到了天使，它们飘忽空灵，齐声吟唱着颂歌飞越天空，无拘无束，随心所欲地降临于一小群正在过桥的凡人之间。天使们时而显形，时而隐身，注视着发生的一切，随后冲上天际，消失在天空的无边湛蓝中。

The sounds of Heaven were faint and achingly seductive as they came from beyond the walls. I could close my eyes and almost see the sapphirine colors! All songs sang the same refrain: "Come in, come here, come inside, be with us. Chaos is no more. This is Heaven."

高墙那头隐隐传来天堂之声，带着诱惑人心的魔力。要是我闭上眼睛，就能够看见那蓝宝石般的色彩！天籁般的和声不断重复唱着：“来吧，来吧，快进来吧，来到我们身边。这里没有尘世纷扰，天堂就在眼前。”

But I was far from all this, in a little valley. I sat amid wildflowers, tiny white and yellow wildflowers, on the grass bank of the stream which all souls cross to get into Heaven, only here it seemed no more than any magnificent rushing stream. Or rather, it sang a song that said¡ªafter smoke and war, after soot and blood, after stench and pain¡ªAll streams are as magnificent as this stream.

但是这一切都离我遥不可及。我正坐在一个小山谷的野花丛中，这些不起眼的黄、白色花朵点缀在翠绿草坪上，边上流淌着一条小溪，那是灵魂进入天堂的必经之地，但是眼下，它和所有壮观的急流毫无二致。更确切地说，它正在唱着一首歌，歌词是¡ª在烟雾和战争之后，在烟尘和鲜血之后，在恶臭和痛苦之后¡ª所有溪流都是如此壮观。

Water sings in multiple voices as it slides over rocks and down through tiny gullies and rushes abruptly over rises in the earth so that it may again tumble in a mingling of fugue and canon. While the grass bends its head to watch.

溪流欢快的歌唱着多重奏，向上滑过岩石，向下穿过狭沟，接着又猛然冲过隆起的土地，混合着赋格曲和轮唱曲的旋律再次尽情翻滚，岸边的青草们低垂着脑袋静静注视着。

I rested against the trunk of a tree, what the peach tree might be if she bloomed forever, both blossoms and fruit, so that she was never bare of either, and her limbs hung down not in submission, but with this richness, this fragrance, this offering, this fusion of two cycles into one eternal abundance. Above, amid fluttering petals, the supply of which seemed inexhaustible and never alarming, I saw the fleeting movement of tiny birds. And beyond that, angels, and angels, and angels, as if they were made of air, the light luminous glittering spirits so faint as to vanish at times in one brilliant breath of the sky.

我倚靠着一棵桃树，如果这棵桃树永远花果满枝会如何呢？她的枝条将不会以屈服的姿态低垂，而会由于满树的花朵、累累的果实和花果满枝的丰盈幸福折腰。头顶的花瓣纷纷飘落，下着一场似乎无穷无尽的花雨，小巧的鸟儿们在花雨中飞掠而过。更远处，天使们聚集在一起，这些闪闪发光的仙灵就好像是由空气组成的，如此稀薄轻盈，时不时便会消失在天空呼出的一丝欢愉微风中。

The Paradise of murals; the Paradise of mosaics. Only no form of art can touch this. Question those who have come and gone. Those whose hearts have stopped on an operating table, so that their souls flew to this garden, and then were brought back down into articulate flesh. Nothing can touch it.

无数壁画和马赛克中都曾描绘过天堂，但是任何艺术形式都无法将其真正呈现，去问问那些曾有幸造访于此的人们吧——他们的心脏曾一度在手术台上停止搏动，脱离躯壳的灵魂随之飞往这座花园，但接着又返回了自己的肉体。没有任何艺术形式能够将天堂完美呈现。

The cool, sweet air surrounded me, slowly removing, layer by layer, the soot and filth that clung to my coat and my shirt.

凉爽、甜蜜的空气包围着我，它们缓慢地，一层层地剥离着粘附在我外套和衬衫上的烟尘污垢。

Suddenly, as if waking to life again from nightmare, I reached inside my shirt and drew out the veil. I unfolded it and held it by its two edges.

暮然之间，我仿佛于噩梦中苏醒，从自己的衬衫中掏出面纱，拽着其中两角铺展开来。

The face burned in it, the dark eyes staring at me, the blood as brilliantly red as before, the skin the perfect hue, the depth almost holographic, though the whole expression moved very faintly as the veil moved on the breeze. Nothing had been smeared, torn, or lost.

面纱中的脸庞炙热地燃烧着，幽黑的眼睛凝视着我，血液如同先前一般艳红，皮肤则泛着玉石的色泽，虽然在微风拂过面纱时，整个表情出现了极其细微的波动，但这一切依然真实的仿佛全息影像。完全见不到脏污，撕裂，或者损毁。

I felt myself gasp, and my heart speeded dangerously. The heat flooded to my own face.

我感到一阵窒息，心跳开始危险地加速，滚烫的血液冲上脸庞。

The brown eyes were steady in their gaze as they had been at that moment, not closing for the soft finely woven fabric. I drew the whole veil close to me, then folded it up again, almost in a panic, and shoved it tight against my skin this time, inside my shirt. I struggled to restore all the buttons to their proper holes. My shirt was all right. My coat was filthy though intact, but all its buttons were gone, even the buttons that had graced the sleeves and had been no longer of any use and were merely decorative. I looked down at my shoes; they were broken and tattered and barely held together anymore. How strange they looked, how unlike anything I had seen of late, made as they were of such fancy leather.

柔软细腻的织物中，那双棕褐色的眼睛并没有阖上，而是像那时一样冷静地凝视着。我将整幅面纱拽到近前，带着几乎恐慌的情绪重新叠起，这次我将它塞进了衬衫里，紧紧贴合着自己的肌肤。随后我费了好大劲，才重新系上了衬衫纽扣。衬衫并没有脏污破裂，大衣也没有破裂，不过非常肮脏，此外所有纽扣都不见了，甚至连用来装饰的袖扣也一并消失了踪影。我低头看了看自己的鞋子，它们已经破烂不堪，似乎随时都会散架。它们看起来是多么古怪啊，比起我最近见过的用这种优质皮革制成的鞋子，它们是如此不同。

Petals fell in my hair. I reached up and brushed loose a small shower of them, pink and white, as they fell on my pants and shoes.

花瓣纷纷扬扬地飘落在我的头发上，我伸出手，拂去了几片飘落在我裤子和鞋子上的粉色和白色花瓣。

"Memnoch!" I said suddenly. I looked around me. Where was he? Was I here alone? Far, far away moved the procession of happy souls across the bridge. Did the gates open and close or was that an illusion?

“迈诺克！”我突然叫喊起来，同时环顾四周。他在哪里？这儿只有我孤单一人吗？远方，一群欢快的灵魂正飘过桥梁。大门刚刚开合过吗？或者只是一场幻觉？

I looked to the left, to a copse of olive trees, and saw standing beneath it first a figure I didn't recognize, and then realized it was Memnoch as the Ordinary Man. He stood collected, looking at me, face grim and set; then the image began to grow and spread, to sprout its huge black wings, and twisted goat legs, and cloven feet, and the angel face gleamed as if in living black granite. Memnoch, my Memnoch, the Memnoch I knew once again clothed as the demon.

我将目光转向左边，那儿的橄榄树丛下站立着一个人影，刚开始我并没有认出他来，但是随后我意识到了，这是化身为凡人的迈诺克。他镇定地站在那儿，神情冷酷地看着我；随后，那个人影开始膨胀、伸展，渐渐显露出巨大的黑色羽翼，扭曲的山羊腿和蹄子，天使的脸庞好像在燃烧的黑色花岗岩中一样闪闪发光。迈诺克，我的迈诺克，我的老熟人迈诺克再次显露出了恶魔形态。

I made no resistance. I didn't cover my face. I studied the details of his robed torso, the way the cloth came down over the hideous fur-covered legs. The cloven feet dug into the ground beneath him, but his hands and arms were his own beautiful hands and arms. His hair was the flowing mane, only jet black. And in all the Garden he was the only pure absence of color, opaque, or at least visible to me, seemingly solid.

我没有抵抗，也没有用手捂住脸，而是仔细审视着他包裹在长袍中的躯体，以及布料如何勾勒出他覆有毛皮的丑陋双腿。他的兽足挖掘着脚下的泥土，优美的双手和手臂依然呈现人形。他的头发是飘逸的鬃毛，只不过色泽乌黑。在整个花园里，只有他完全被包裹在黑色中，而且并非透明，或者说至少我能够看见，他似乎是可以触碰的实体。

"The argument is simple," he said. "Do you have any trouble now understanding it?"

“这场争论相当简单，”他说道，“你现在理解起来有任何困难吗？”

His black wings came in close, hugging the body, lower tips curved forward, near his feet, so that they did not scrape the ground. He walked towards me, a horrid animalian advance carrying the overwhelmingly perfect torso and head, a hobbled being, thrust into a human conception of evil.

迈诺克拢起黑色翅膀，包裹着身躯，垂在脚边的翼尾弯向前方，以免拖到地上。他踏着猛兽的步伐走向我，矫健的四肢扛着完美的躯干和脑袋，跛行前进的姿态令人胆寒，一瞬间，他成为了人类想象中的恶魔。

"Right you are," he said, and slowly, almost painfully, seated himself, the wings once more fading because they could never have allowed it; and there he sat, the goat god glaring at me, hair tangled, but face as serene as always, no harsher, no sweeter, no wiser or more cruel, because it was graven out of blackness instead of the shimmering image of flesh.

“你是对的。”他说道，近乎痛苦地缓慢坐下，无处安放的双翼再次消失；他坐在那儿瞪着我，头发纠结缠绕，脸色却一如既往地平静，既没有更加严厉，也没有更加和善，既没有更加聪明，也没有更加残忍，因为它是由黑暗雕刻而成，而不是闪烁着微光的血肉。

He began to talk:

他开始说话：

"You see, what He actually did was this. He said over and over to me, 'Memnoch, everything in the universe is used ... made use of... you understand?' And He came down, suffered, died, and rose from the Dead to consecrate human suffering, to enshrine it as a means to an end; the end was illumination, superiority of the soul.

“你瞧，实际情况是这样的。他一遍又一遍地告诉我，‘迈诺克，世间万物都有其存在的意义……要善加利用……你明白吗？”他下凡、受难、死亡、复活，只是为了替人类的苦难镀上圣光，将其升华为获得神启，灵魂飞升的必经之路。

"But the myth of the suffering and Dying God—whether we speak of Tammuz of Sumer or Dionysus of Greece, or any other deity the world over, whose death and dismemberment preceded Creation—this was a Human idea! An idea conceived by Humans who could not imagine a Creation from nothing, one which did not involve a sacrifice. The Dying God who gives birth to Man was a young idea in the minds of those too primitive to conceive of anything absolute and perfect. So He grafted himself—God Incarnate—upon human myths that try to explain things as if they had meaning, when perhaps they don't."

“无论是苏美尔神话中的搭模斯[2]、古希腊神话中的狄俄尼索斯[3]，还是全世界的其他神灵，他们都是在经历死亡和肢解之后才创造了世界，然而这些关于苦难和上帝受难的神话都不过是人类的一厢情愿罢了！他们认为创世必要付出代价。创造人类的受难上帝——那些低等人类相信这个幼稚念头，因为他们无法想象任何终极和完美的事物。所以他将自己——神的化身——融合进人类试图阐明世间因果的神话，事实上也许根本就没有因果。

"Yes."

“没错。”

"Where was His sacrifice in making the world?" Memnoch asked.

“他为创造这个世界付出过什么代价吗？”迈诺克反问道。

"He was not Tiamat slain by Marduk. He is not Osiris chopped into pieces! What did He, Almighty God, give up to make the material universe? I do not remember seeing anything taken from Him. That it came out of Him, this is true, but I do not remember Him being lessened, or decimated, or maimed, or decreased by the act of Physical Creation! He was after the Creation of the planets and the stars, the same God! If anything He was increased, or seemed to be in the eyes of His angels, as they sang of new and varying aspects of His Creation. His very nature as Creator grew and expanded in our perceptions, as evolution took His path.

“他不是被马杜克杀死的提亚玛特[4]，也不是被切成几块的奥西里斯[5]！他，全能的上帝，究竟为创世做出过何种牺牲？我不记得他曾因此付出过任何代价。没错，他是这个世界的造物主，但是我并不记得他曾因此而消散、死亡、残疾，或者衰弱！他还创造了无数恒星和行星！就算他创造了任何事物——或者说天使们这么认为，他们歌诵着神创世的各个方面。他作为造物者的形象在我们的观念中不断扩展延伸，仿佛进化正是出自他的授意。

"But when He came as God Incarnate, He imitated myths that men had made to try to sanctify all suffering, to try to say that history is not horror, but has meaning. He plunged down into man-made religion and brought His Divine Grace to those images, and He sanctified suffering by His death, whereas it had not been sanctified in His Creation, you understand?"

“但是当他化身凡人降临人间时，却对人类创作的神话进行了效仿，那些神话试图为苦难镀上圣环，辩称历史并不可怕，而是有其意义。他纵身跃入人类所创造的宗教，显露神迹来加以佐证，通过自己的死亡为苦难镀上圣环，然而事实上，他并未由于创世牺牲过自己，你能够明白吗？”

"It was a bloodless Creation and without sacrifice," I said. My voice was dull but my mind had never been more alert. "That is what you're saying. But He does believe suffering is sacrosanct or can be. Nothing is wasted. All things are used."

“你是说，这是一场不流血的创世，并没有支付任何代价。”我的声音非常平淡，但是内心却极为警醒，“但是，神确实相信苦难是神圣的，或者说可以是神圣的。 世间万物都有其存在的意义。”

[1]人身羊足、头上有角的畜牧神--潘和专门与上帝和人类为敌的魔鬼--撒旦都拥有山羊的腿和角

[2]原属巴比伦，后为腓尼基、亚述、埃及族所崇拜之伪神，行礼淫乱，为腓尼基日神名号。按外国遗传说，这神每年在八月死又复活，死日众妇女为他哭泣，复活日众妇女为他跳舞。

[3]据说狄俄尼索斯是宙斯与珀耳塞福涅的儿子。赫拉派提坦神将刚出生的狄俄尼索斯杀害并毁掉尸身，却被宙斯抢救出他的心，并让他的灵魂再次投生到塞墨勒的体内重生。于是，关于酒神重生不死的故事遍传希腊各地，使人们崇拜不已。

[4]又叫混沌母神，源于巴比伦神话，世界开创时即存在怪物

[5]奥西里斯是埃及最重要的九大神明“九神”(Great Ennead) 之一。他生前是一个开明的国王，死后是地界主宰和死亡判官。他还是复活、降雨和植物之神， 被称为"丰饶之神"。他是文明的赐予者，冥界之王，执行人死后是否可得到永生的审判。