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英语口语·吉米老师说

吉米老师读完这篇文章,不知不觉潸然泪下……



英语·情书



本文来源:波士顿国际教育联盟(id: Bostonwise_edu)

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一封《与妻书》成千古绝响


当人看到这封绝命书的时候,林觉民已是刀下亡魂。


林觉民与妻子陈意映


1910年4月26日黄花岗起义前夕,身为爱国志士、同盟会成员之一林觉民夜不能寐,半夜起身,找了一块方巾,在上面写下了感人至深的这篇《与妻书》,并转交友人,交待如果起义失败,将这封家书帮忙送予妻子陈意映。


4月27日,黄花岗起义失败,林觉民被俘虏。


《与妻书》手稿 图源:福建博物院


5月3日,宁死不从的林觉民被清政府枪杀于广州天字码头,终年24岁。不久后的一个夜晚,林觉民的《与妻书》被同盟会成员塞进林家门缝内,翌日清晨被家人发现。


陈意映读罢此信,悲痛欲绝,于1911年5月早产,生下了一子。



然而,孩子出生后,陈意映还是没有从失去丈夫林觉民的痛苦中走出来,结果她因悲伤过度,就于1913年离开了人世,当时她才22岁。


值得一提的是,林觉民的侄女,就是中国现代文化史上杰出的女性、中国第一位女性建筑学家林徽因。


视频来源于网络


与 妻 书

作者:林觉民

Yiying my darling,

意映卿卿如晤:


With this letter, I bid you a final farewell! I am writing this as a living person on earth, but I will be a ghost in the underworld by the time you read this. Ink and tears flow in equal measure as I write. I can hardly go on and want to put my pen away, but I am afraid you would misunderstand my heart and think that I am so callous as to forsake you, or that I seek death without knowing your wish for me to stay alive. So, I have to overcome my sorrow to explain.

吾今以此书与汝永别矣!吾作此书时,尚是世中一人;汝看此书时,吾已成为阴间一鬼。吾作此书,泪珠和笔墨齐下,不能竟书而欲搁笔,又恐汝不察吾衷,谓吾忍舍汝而死,谓吾不知汝之不欲吾死也,故遂忍悲为汝言之。


I love you to death! And love gives me the courage to face death. Ever since I met you, I often wished that all the lovers in the world would find fulfillment as we have. But, the reality is that the land is permeated in blood, and vicious thugs roam the streets. How many families can claim true happiness? Just like the Tang poet, Bai Juyi, cries for the misfortune of a concubine, I could not be like the ancient sages who held themselves aloof from the ordeals of the common people. It is said: "benevolence is to take care of the old as you would your own parents, to take care of the young as you would your own children." As my heart is filled with love for you, that love makes me yearn to help others love whom they love. That is why I dare to die and leave you behind. I believe that, as you understand my heart, you would, even in your tears of sorrow, be glad to sacrifice my life and your well-being, for the long-lasting happiness of all the people. Please do not be sad!

吾至爱汝!即此爱汝一念,使吾勇于就死也。吾自遇汝以来,常愿天下有情人都成眷属;然遍地腥云,满街狼犬,称心快意,几家能彀?司马青衫,吾不能学太上之忘情也。语云:仁者 “老吾老,以及人之老;幼吾幼,以及人之幼”。吾充吾爱汝之心,助天下人爱其所爱,所以敢先汝而死,不顾汝也。汝体吾此心,于啼泣之余,亦以天下人为念,当亦乐牺牲吾身与汝身之福利,为天下人谋永福也。汝其勿悲!


Do you remember? In one evening about four or five years ago, I once said, "if one of us were to die, I wish that you would die before me." At first, you were angry when you heard of it. After I gently explained my intention, you still did not agree but could not refute me. What I meant was, I knew you would not have been able to bear the sadness of my death if I were to die first. My death would have left you in a cruel agony. I would rather that it was me who would bear the sadness of our separation in death. Alas, it is I who will have to die first!

汝忆否?四五年前某夕,吾尝语曰:“与使吾先死也,无宁汝先吾而死。”汝初闻言而怒,后经吾婉解,虽不谓吾言为是,而亦无词相答。吾之意盖谓以汝之弱,必不能禁失吾之悲,吾先死,留苦与汝,吾心不忍,故宁请汝先死,吾担悲也。嗟夫!谁知吾卒先汝而死乎?


《辛亥革命》胡歌饰林觉民


I can never ever forget about you! I can visualize our family residence in BackStreet, and mentally enter the front door, walk through the hallway, pass both the front and back parlors, into the smaller parlor after a few turns, and the adjacent bedroom where we lived together. Remember three or four months into our marriage, on a winter night of a full moon, sparse plum branches outside the window sieved moonlight into exquisite shadows. Side by side, hand in hand, softly we talked. Every experience was shared, and every feeling was exchanged! Oh, the memories left tear stains on my face! I also remember about six or seven years ago, after I returned home from a period of desertion, you tearfully told me: "You must let me know next time you go on a long trip. I will accompany you wherever you go." I promised you then that I would. A little more than ten days ago when I came back home, I wanted to tell you about this journey. However, when I was with you, I could not bring it up. Especially since you are pregnant, I was afraid you could not bear the sadness. All I could do was to take refuge in alcohol. Alas, my wrenching agony at that time was beyond words.

吾真真不能忘汝也!回忆后街之屋,入门穿廊,过前后厅,又三四折,有小厅,厅旁一室,为吾与汝双栖之所。初婚三四个月,适冬之望日前后,窗外疏梅筛月影,依稀掩映;吾与(汝)并肩携手,低低切切,何事不语?何情不诉?及今思之,空余泪痕。又回忆六七年前,吾之逃家复归也,汝泣告我:“望今后有远行,必以告妾,妾愿随君行。”吾亦既许汝矣。前十余日回家,即欲乘便以此行之事语汝,及与汝相对,又不能启口,且以汝之有身也,更恐不胜悲,故惟日日呼酒买醉。嗟夫!当时余心之悲,盖不能以寸管形容之。


It is my true wish to live out our lives together, but based on the current state of affairs-natural disasters can kill us, thieves and robbers can kill us, the upheaval in the breaking up of China by foreign powers can kill us, corrupt and despotic officials who abuse people can kill us. Our generation lives in a country where death can strike people at any time, anywhere. When that happens to one of us, could you or I bear to just helplessly watch the other die? Even if we escape death, what is to prevent us from being forced to separate from each other until our longing eyes become blind and our yearning bones turn into fossils? The pain of separation is worse than death. And, just like a broken mirror cannot be restored, families separated hardly end in a happy reunion. We are fortunate to be alive and healthy today. But the number of people who had wished to live yet perished, and couples who had wished to be together yet were separated, is countless. Can true lovers like us bear with this? That is why I have made the decision to lay down my life, even if it means losing you. I will have no regrets. The success of the revolution will be on the shoulders of my comrades. Yixin is five years old now, he will be a grown man soon. Please raise him well and make him like me. I suspect the life in your womb is a girl. If so, she surely will be like you, and I will be very glad. Or maybe it is a boy, then please educate him to follow my aspirations. So there will be two of me after my death. Great! Great! Our family will become very poor. Poverty is not a great hardship for a life lived simply.

吾诚愿与汝相守以死,第以今日事势观之,天灾可以死,盗贼可以死,瓜分之日可以死,奸官污吏虐民可以死,吾辈处今日之中国,国中无地无时不可以死。到那时使吾眼睁睁看汝死,或使汝眼睁睁看吾死,吾能之乎?抑汝能之乎?即可不死,而离散不相见,徒使两地眼成穿而骨化石,试问古来几曾见破镜能重圆?则较死为苦也,将奈之何?今日吾与汝幸双健。天下人不当死而死与不愿离而离者,不可数计,钟情如我辈者,能忍之乎?此吾所以敢率性就死不顾汝也。吾今死无余憾,国事成不成自有同志者在。依新已五岁,转眼成人,汝其善抚之,使之肖我。汝腹中之物,吾疑其女也,女必像汝,吾心甚慰。或又是男,则亦教其以父志为志,则吾死后尚有二意洞在也。幸甚,幸甚!吾家后日当甚贫,贫无所苦,清静过日而已。


I have no more words. If I should hear your wails from afar in the underworld, I ought to answer with wails of my own. I do not believe in ghosts, but now I wish they do exist. Nowadays people also claim that telepathy is possible via bio-electrical signals. I also hope the claim is true. So after my death, my spirit will still be at your side and you will not feel the sorrow of losing your spouse.

吾今与汝无言矣。吾居九泉之下遥闻汝哭声,当哭相和也。吾平日不信有鬼,今则又望其真有。今是人又言心电感应有道,吾亦望其言是实,则吾之死,吾灵尚依依旁汝也,汝不必以无侣悲。


I had not revealed to you my aspirations. It is my fault. But if I had told you, I was afraid that you would worry about me every day. I could willingly sacrifice my life for my country a hundred times, but I cannot bear the thought of you worrying for me. I love you most deeply, and I am always anxious that I have not thought of you carefully enough. You were fortunate to marry me, but are unfortunate to have been born in today's China. I am fortunate to have you but so unfortunate to have been born in today's China. In the end, I cannot tend only to my self-interest. Sigh! So much love, so small a handkerchief, and so many feelings from the heart left unsaid, but you can glean the rest. I can no longer see you now! I know you won't be able to let me go. Will you see me often in your dreams? I am tumultuous!

吾平生未尝以吾所志语汝,是吾不是处;然语之,又恐汝日日为吾担忧。吾牺牲百死而不辞,而使汝担忧,的的非吾所忍。吾爱汝至,所以为汝谋者惟恐未尽。汝幸而偶我,又何不幸而生今日中国!吾幸而得汝,又何不幸而生今日之中国!卒不忍独善其身。嗟夫!巾短情长,所未尽者,尚有万千,汝可以模拟得之。吾今不能见汝矣!汝不能舍吾,其时时于梦中得我乎!一恸。


Written at Apr/24/1911 2am

辛未三月廿六夜四鼓,意洞手书。


PS: Our aunts are all proficient in literature. Please ask them for help if anything is unclear, I really want you to fully appreciate my heart.

家中诸母皆通文,有不解处,望请其指教,当尽吾意为幸。


向上滑动阅览

白话文版


亲爱的意映 你看见我的信就如我们面对面一样:


我这次写这封信是要与你永别的!我写这封信的时候,还活在这个世上。你看见这封信的时候,我已经不在这个世上了。我写这封信时,笔墨落下的同时眼泪也一起落下,还没有写完,就想停下笔来。又怕你不能体会到我的苦衷,误以为我会忍心舍下你去死,误以为我不知道你不让我死,所以才忍着悲痛告诉你这些话。

我是很爱你的!就因为爱你,才使我有勇气去赴死!我自从遇到你以来,经常希望天下的有情人终成眷属,然而遍地都是腥风血雨,满街都是财狼虎豹,现在是他们称心如意的时候,又有多少情人可以如愿?司马的青衫都湿了,我不能学那些修养高尚的人那样忘情,古人说,仁义的人“爱别人家的老人就像爱自己家的老人一样,爱别人家的孩子就像爱自己家的孩子一样”。我以爱你的心,来帮助别的人爱他们的爱人,所以我敢死在你的前面,而不能顾虑到你了。你若能体谅我的苦心,就在为我悲痛啼哭的同时,也以天下人的幸福为念。也应当乐于以牺牲我和你的幸福,来为天下人谋求他们永远的幸福。所以你不要悲伤。

你还记不记得四五年前的某一天,我曾经说:“如果要我先死,还不如你比我早死。”你起初听了这话非常生气,后来经过我的婉言解释,虽然不赞同我说的话,但也没有什么好说的了。我的意思是以你的体弱多病,必定不能忍受失去我的痛苦,我先死的话把痛苦都留给你,我会于心不忍,所以宁愿希望你先死,我来承担悲痛就可以了!哎!谁知道现在我要比你早死了!

我是真的难以忘记你,回想起后街上的房屋,进入大门穿过走廊,走过前后厅,转三四个弯又有小厅,小厅旁的一个房间是你我的卧室。我们新婚三四个月的时候,当时正是冬天望日的前后,窗外稀稀疏疏的梅花和月亮的影子,依稀地互相辉映,我和你手拉手肩并肩地漫步,亲亲切切地,说任何事。然而今天想起来,只剩下泪水。又回想起六七年前,我有事离家,等到我回家来的时候,你哭着对我说:“希望你以后要出门远行,一定要告诉我,我愿意跟随你前往。”我也答应了你。十几天前我回家,就想抽空告诉你这次远行的事,直到有机会面对你的时候,我又说不出口了;况且你已经有了身孕,我怕你更禁受不住悲痛,所以只能每天喝酒买醉。哎!当时我心里的悲痛,根本不能用一寸一尺来形容。

我真的很想与你相守到死,然而现在从天下世事形势来看,天灾可以致死,盗贼可以致死,被列强占领可以致死,贪官污吏虐待百姓可以致死,我们这一代人生在今日的中国,国家里无时无刻都在死人!到那个时候,使我眼睁睁地看着你死去,或让你眼睁睁地看着我死去,你我又怎么能够忍受!即使可以不死,然而生生地分开不能相见,对对方的相思会使我们望眼欲穿而成化石,试问自古至今又有多少人能够破镜重圆,这样看来比死更痛苦。我们又能怎么样呢?现今,有幸我们都活着,而天下有多少不该死的人死了,又有多少不愿意与他们爱的人分开的人和爱人分开了,这是数也数不清的;像我们这样重情的人,又怎么能忍受分开的痛苦?这就是为什么我抛下你勇于去赴死的原因!我今日死了却也没有遗憾,国家的大事能不能成功,自然还有其他的同志们在!依新已经五岁了,转眼就长大成人了,你好好抚养他,要让他像我一样。你肚子里的孩子,我想大概是个女孩儿,女孩的话一定像你,我心里也很宽慰。如果又是个男孩儿,你也要教他以他父亲的志愿为自己的志愿,这样即使我死了,这世上仍有两个我存在,也是幸事啊!

我家以后也许会很贫穷,贫但不苦,清净地过日子就好。

我现在不再与你多说什么了,我在九泉之下,远远地听见你的哭声,我就会与你一起哭。我平时不相信有鬼的说法,现在又希望真的有。现在的人又提出有心电感应的说法,我也希望这样的说法是真的了,那么就算我死了,我的灵魂就会陪在你的身边,你也不必因为我不在而悲伤!

我平时没有告诉你我所做的事和我的志愿,是我的不对,但告诉你,我又怕你总是为我担心。我的死是百死不辞的,而要使你为我担忧,又不是我所愿意的。我很爱你,所以为你考虑而怕不够周到,你的幸是嫁给了我,但不幸的是生在当下的中国!我的幸是娶到你,而不幸的也是生在当下的中国,不忍独自过活!哎!纸短情长,没有说的话又何止千千万万,你可以想象得到。我现今再也见不到你。你舍不得我,就经常到梦里来寻我吧!

辛亥年三月深夜四更,意洞亲笔。

家中母亲识字,有不懂的地方可以向她请教。能完全表达我的意思最好!


英文翻译:陈力超



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