1.别人都有甜蜜的恋爱，我只有光头。

every one else has a sweet love . I only have a bald head。

2、我男朋友，不吝啬，不打广告，不懒，不存在。

My boyfriend, not stingy, not publicity, not lazy, does not exist.

3、七夕节快到了，是时候回天庭和月老谈谈分配对象的事了。

The Chinese Valentine's Day is coming. It's time to go back to the heaven and talk about the allocation of boyfriends.

4、七夕节怎么过？躺着过、趴着过、站着过、蹲着过、一笑而过、擦肩而过、面壁思过、匆匆而过。

How do you spend Chinese Valentine's day? Lying down, lying down, standing, squatting, laughing, passing by, thinking on the wall, and passing in a hurry.

5、别问我处不处对象，这是想有就有的吗？你考不上清华，是因为你不想上吗？

Don't ask me if I want to fall in love. Is this something that you can have if you want to? You can't be admitted to Tsinghua University because you don't want to?

6、今年七夕不收礼，收礼不收男朋友。

No gifts will be accepted this year. I don't accept boyfriends for gifts.

7、情人节我掐指一算，不出意外的话，跟我没半毛钱关系。

Valentine's day I pinch a finger, if no accident, and I have no half dime relationship.

8、历史总是惊人的相似，前年七夕我单身，去年七夕我单身，今年七夕我还单身。

History is always surprisingly similar. I was single the previous year's Eve, last year I was single, and this year I was still single.

9、七夕快到了，月老我们坐下来喝杯茶，谈谈心吧！

Tanabata is coming. Yuelao, let's sit down and have a cup of tea and talk about our hearts!

10、有需要电灯泡的吗？吃不吃饭不重要，主要是想近距离看看爱情长什么样？

Do you need a light bulb? It doesn't matter whether you eat or not. It's mainly to see what love looks like up close?

11、情人节声明：我不是不想谈恋爱，我是没人要。

Valentine's Day statement: it's not that I don't want to fall in love. No one wants me.

12、小朋友，你是否有很多问号，为什么情人节了你还没人要。

Children, do you have a lot of question marks, why do you have no one to ask you for Valentine's day.

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